Sunday, December 5, 2010

Bill Gates speech: 11 rules your kids did not and will not learn in school

by Kent Summers on Wednesday, May 26, 2010 at 8:34am

Rule 1: Life is not fair - get used to it!

Rule 2: The world doesn't care about your self-esteem. The world will expect you to accomplish something BEFORE you feel good about yourself.

Rule 3: You will NOT make $60,000 a year right out of high school. You won't be a vice-president with a car phone until you earn both.

Rule 4: If you think your teacher is tough, wait till you get a boss.

Rule 5: Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your Grandparents had a different word for burger flipping: they called it opportunity.

Rule 6: If you mess up, it's not your parents' fault, so don't whine about your mistakes, learn from them.

Rule 7: Before you were born, your parents weren't as boring as they are now. They got that way from paying your bills, cleaning your clothes and listening to you talk about how cool you thought you were. So before you save the rain forest from the parasites of your parent's generation, try delousing the closet in your own room.

Rule 8: Your school may have done away with winners and losers, but life HAS NOT. In some schools, they have abolished failing grades, and they'll give you as MANY TIMES as you want to get the right answer. This doesn't bear the slightest resemblance to ANYTHING in real life.

Rule 9: Life is not divided into semesters. You don't get summers off and very few employers are interested in helping you FIND YOURSELF. Do that on your own time.

Rule 10: Television is NOT real life. In real life people actually have to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs.

Rule 11: Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one.

All so true!  KW

I D 10 T - Darwin nominees 2010

This year's Darwin nominees are:
Nominee No. 1: [ San Jose Mercury News]: An unidentified man, using a shotgun like a club to break a former girl friend's windshield, accidentally shot himself to death when the gun discharged, blowing a hole in his gut.

Nominee No. 2: [ Kalamazoo Gazette]: James Burns, 34, (a mechanic) of Alamo, MI, was killed in March as he was trying to repair what police describe as a "farm-type truck." Burns got a friend to drive the truck on a highway while Burns hung underneath so that he could ascertain the source of a troubling noise. Burns' clothes caught on something, however, and the other man found Burns "wrapped in the drive shaft."

Nominee No. 3: [ Hickory Daily Record]: Ken Charles Barger, 47, accidentally shot himself to death in December in Newton, NC. Awakening to the sound of a ringing telephone beside his bed, he reached for the phone but grabbed instead a Smith & Wesson 38 Special, which discharged when he drew it to his ear.

Nominee No. 4: [UPI, Toronto ]: Police said a lawyer demonstrating the safety of windows in a downtown Toronto skyscraper crashed through a pane with his shoulder and plunged 24 floors to his death. A police spokesman said Garry Hoy, 39, fell into the courtyard of the Toronto Dominion Bank Tower early Friday evening as he was explaining the strength of the building’s windows to visiting law students. Hoy previously has conducted demonstrations of window strength according to police reports. Peter Lawson, managing partner of the firm Holden Day Wilson, told the Toronto Sun newspaper that Hoy was "one of the best and brightest" members of the 200-man association.

Nominee No. 5: [The News of the Weird]: Michael Anderson Godwin made News of the Weird posthumously. He had spent several years awaiting South Carolina’s electric chair on a murder conviction before having his sentence reduced to life in prison. While sitting on a metal toilet in his cell attempting to fix his small TV set, he bit into a wire and was electrocuted.

Nominee No. 6:[The Indianapolis Star]: A cigarette lighter may have triggered a fatal explosion in Dunkirk, IN. A Jay County man, using a cigarette lighter to check the barrel of a muzzleloader, was killed Monday night when the weapon discharged in his face, sheriff's investigators said. Gregory David Pryor, 19, died in his parents' rural Dunkirk home at about 11:30 PM. Investigators said Pryor was cleaning a 54-caliber muzzle-loader that had not been firing properly. He was using the lighter to look into the barrel when the gunpowder ignited.

Nominee No. 7: [Reuters, Mississauga, Ontario]: A man cleaning a bird feeder on the balcony of his condominium apartment in this Toronto suburb slipped and fell 23 stories to his death. “Stefan Macko, 55, was standing on a wheelchair when the accident occurred," said Inspector Darcy Honer of the Peel Regional Police. "It appears that the chair moved, and he went over the balcony," Honer said.

Finally, THE WINNER:[Arkansas Democrat Gazette]: Two local men were injured when their pickup truck left the road and struck a tree near Cotton Patch on State Highway 38 early Monday. Woodruff County deputy Dovey Snyder reported the accident shortly after midnight Monday. Thurston Poole, 33, of Des Arc, and Billy Ray Wallis, 38, of Little Rock, were returning to Des Arc after a frog-catching trip... On an overcast Sunday night, Poole’s pickup truck headlights malfunctioned.

The two men concluded that the headlight fuse on the older-model truck had burned out. As a replacement fuse was not available, Wallis noticed that the .22 caliber bullets from his pistol fit perfectly into the fuse box next to the steering-wheel column. Upon inserting the bullet the headlights again began to operate properly, and the two men proceeded on eastbound toward the White River Bridge.

After traveling approximately 20 miles, and just before crossing the river, the bullet apparently overheated, discharged and struck Poole in the testicles. The vehicle swerved sharply right, exited the pavement, and struck a tree. Poole suffered only minor cuts and abrasions from the accident but will require extensive surgery to repair the damage to his testicles, which will never operate as intended.

Wallis sustained a broken clavicle and was treated and released. "Thank God we weren't on that bridge when Thurston shot his balls off, or we might be dead," stated Wallis

"I've been a trooper for 10 years in this part of the world, but this is a first for me. I can't believe that those two would admit how this accident happened," said Snyder.

Upon being notified of the wreck, Lavinia (Poole’s wife) asked how many frogs the boys had caught and did anyone get them from the truck? Though Poole and Wallis did not die as a result of their misadventure as normally required by Darwin Award Official Rules, it can be argued that Poole did in fact effectively remove himself from the gene pool.

7 Reasons Not To Mess With Children

A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.
The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.
The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.
Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.
The little girl said, 'When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah'.
The teacher asked, 'What if Jonah went to hell?'
The little girl replied, 'Then you ask him'.

A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's work.
As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was.
The girl replied, 'I'm drawing God.'
The teacher paused and said, 'But no one knows what God looks like.'
Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, 'They will in a minute.'

A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds.
After explaining the commandment to 'honour' thy Father and thy Mother, she asked, 'Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?'
Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest of a family) answered, 'Thou shall not kill.'

One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink... She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head.
She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, 'Why are some of your hairs white, Mum?'
Her mother replied, 'Well, every time you do something wrong and make me unhappy or cry, one of my hairs turns white.'
The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said, 'Mummy, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?'

The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture.
'Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, 'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, He's a doctor..'
A small voice at the back of the room rang out, 'And there's the teacher, she's dead.'

A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, she said, 'Now, class, if I stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the face.'
'Yes,' the class said.
'Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn't run into my feet?'
A little fellow shouted,
'Cause your feet ain't empty.'

The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch... At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray:
'Take only ONE . God is watching.'
Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies.
A child had written a note, 'Take all you want. God is watching the apples.'

Sunday, February 21, 2010

The Darwin Awards - 2009

I started this blog site for the fun of it over a year ago. I don't often add to it, but this email from a friend reminded me why I originally named it I D 10 T.

Yes, it's that magical time of year again when the Darwin Awards are bestowed, honoring the least evolved among us.

Here is the glorious winner:
1. When his 38 caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended victim during a hold-up in Long Beach California, would-be robber James Elliot did something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the barrel and tried the trigger again. This time it worked.
And now, the honorable mentions:
2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat cutting machine and after a little shopping around, submitted a claim to his insurance company. The company expecting negligence sent out one of its men to have a look for himself. He tried the machine and he also lost a finger. The chef's claim was approved.
3. A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a woman had taken the space. 'Understandably', he shot her.
4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting from Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to admit his incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone waiting there a free ride. He then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital, telling the staff that the patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies. The deception wasn't discovered for 3 days.
5. An American teenager was in the hospital recovering from serious head wounds received from an oncoming train... When asked how he received the injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying to see how close he could get his head to a moving train before he was hit.
6. A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the counter, and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he got from the drawer.... $15. [If someone points a gun at you and gives you money, is a crime committed?]
7. Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head at the window. The cinder block bounced back and hit the would-be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. The liquor store window was made of Plexiglas. The whole event was caught on videotape.
8. As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man grabbed her purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately, and the woman was able to give them a detailed description of the snatcher. Within minutes, the police apprehended the snatcher. They put him in the car and drove back to the store. The thief was then taken out of the car and told to stand there for a positive ID. To which he replied, "Yes, officer, that's her. That's the lady I stole the purse from."
9. The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan at 5 A.M., flashed a gun, and demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't open the cash register without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk said they weren't available for breakfast. The man, frustrated, walked away.
10. When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on a Seattle street, he got much more than he bargained for. Police arrived at the scene to find a very sick man curled up next to a motor home near spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man admitted to trying to steal gasoline, but he plugged his siphon hose into the motor home's sewage tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle declined to press charges saying that it was the best laugh he'd ever had.

In the interest of bettering mankind, please share these with friends and family....unless of course one of these individuals by chance is a distant relative or long lost friend. In that case, be glad they are distant and hope they remain lost.

Remember..... They walk among us.... And they vote!

Monday, January 18, 2010

The Handyman

Is there an unwritten code among handymen? The reason I ask is because anytime I have hired one to do some work for me around my place, they never stick to their word as far as to when they will show up. It never fails. They never come when they say they will. They are ALWAYS an hour or two or three late! Sometimes they never show up! And when they do show, the job that they were contracted to do, is never the same when they are finished.

I hired someone to do some outside repairs this weekend. I had put it off too long. He solicited the work. The neighbors had told him I had work to be done, and because they recommended him, I decide what the heck. He needed the work; give him the job; 30 years old, wife (who sat in the truck all three days while he was here), and a 10 year old daughter. He had few teeth, smelled of smoke, and had cigarette burns in his sweatshirt. He said he had left school at 16 because he was making good money working on homes; not something you tell someone in Education as I told him. But he did get his GED. Grew up in Georgia, slow talker, as it took him 20 minutes to tell me something that would take most people 5 minutes.

Now everything was fine; explained what I wanted done, price decided upon; until I wrote him a check. At that time, he told me he only accepted cash. Ok, void the check. I don't keep cash on me, so I did not have the down payment he wanted; had to give him some cash and write another check to make up the difference. We decided on a time for him to start the following day, 10:00 AM.

Well, I am up, dressed, and ready by 10:00; which is unusual for me as I am NEVER ready before 12:00 if I can help it. I like to take my time in the morning on my days off. 10:00 came and went, as did 11:00 and 12:00. I am ready to go run some errands when I get the call; wife’s phone not charged, running late, on his way. Now it was about 12:30, figured he would be here within the next 30 minutes. NOT! Another hour!

He got here, and I went to run my errands. He called me to explain something wasn’t going to work; he had to do something different, and to remind me to get cash; I had gotten that the day before after he left, having had to write two different checks for him. He worked another couple of hours, asked for more money for supplies (found something else that needed to be fixed), and off he went, saying he would be back the next day.

The next morning, same thing, I am up and ready by 10:00 AM (I do pretty well after I have my shot of caffeine) and again a no show until the call at 11:30 telling me he is on his way. At least the call was earlier today, but it still took him over 30 minutes to get here. Again, I told him I had errands to run. I would not be here when he got here, would be back in about an hour. I got a call from him about 2 hours later saying he was done and to have cash.

The additional jobs required additional money. I get that, but he said he did the math wrong and didn't charge me enough. Well, guess what? I only had cash for the amount he had told me the night before. So, cash and a check again. He drove off and called. The guy who usually cashed checks for him wasn't working. If I could get some cash for him, he would take less than the amount of the check. Yikes, have to go scrambling around looking for cash. Came up with the right amount of bills and change. What a pain in the neck.

I was surprised he was so disorganized. The neighbors recommended him highly, so I did not expect it. Another neighbor called and asked what I thought of his work. Come to find out, she had hired him before, and he kept finding things that needed to be fixed. I don’t mind being told things need to be fixed when I know they do, but figure the price correctly.

Time will tell if he did a good job. He still needs to come back and finish some painting. He did clean everything up well, so that is a plus.

It is soooo hard to find a handyman. Would I use him again? I don’t know. I did tell him if I did ever use him again, we would have to sit down and have the math worked out even before the job was ever started. I am all set for now. My next big job is replacing my bathroom counters and that will not be done by someone I hire off the street!

Why Do People Do Art Shows?

This is an old draft I finally made the time to sit down and finish. I sometimes have more than one going on at a time, posting none of them. This goes back to November.

I was at dinner the other night when two friends mentioned that I had not put anything new on my blog in awhile. Too true. I have saved stuff to write about but have not gotten around to writing anything. Time! That’s the key; time to do so. I decided today I would try to get something written. (And didn't do so until now, 2 months later!)

In the past two months I have been to a number of Arts Festivals with my friend Nancy. Nancy is a retired elementary school principal. Since retiring, she has been busy with a number of different projects; arts and crafts, stamping, scrapbooking; a regular Martha Stewart! She always has something in the works. Nancy is now into photography. She has taken a number of photography classes. She takes great photos, as she puts it, of things that do not move. She does buildings and objects, not people or animals. She has done shows in the Atlanta area and in South Carolina. I have helped her out a few times. Needless to say, most I have helped her with have either been rainy or cold days. The last one I did I thought I would never warm up, and it was only October. Most of Nancy’s shows are outdoors; one lately was indoors.

Preparation for the shows is a lot of work; which photos to take, framed or just matted, what sizes. I told Nancy one time (she had been out of town, and I had collected her mail for her) I would never know if anyone had broken into her house and disturbed anything because she spreads her stuff out ALL OVER the place!

Setting up for the shows is also a lot of work. Nancy has a tent she puts up and display walls on which to hang her photos. It takes a couple of hours to get everything set up. Nancy plans out how and where everything will be hung. She has a system in place; what photos get hung on the walls, which go in baskets. She has props and displays. She sets her tent up to “draw” in the customers.

That’s another story in itself. Some days there will be a number of visitors to the show and Nancy’s tent, other days few. I don’t know how Nancy does it. I think I would go nuts; being there all day waiting for people not only to come into my tent, but to also buy something. To me it would be very discouraging to have people look through my photography, tell me how good it was, then walk away without buying a thing. Not Nancy. At Chastain, one guy came back at least three times; even brought his cousin back with him; to look at a scene from Sullivan’s Island, and he still did not buy the photo. Nancy just kept smiling and having conversations with him. Nancy does not get discouraged. She will be ready for the next show, around the next corner.

It is also interesting to see which photos attract people at the different shows; at one show it was scenes from the Atlanta area, at another show photos taken in Europe, at a third show beach photos. Every show attracts a number of different types of people. Interesting!

Nancy makes friends at all her shows. She befriends the people set up beside her. At the Chastain show the photographer beside her gave her a lot of advice; price the photos higher, no posters, make the mats herself. He was very friendly; as was his girlfriend; and he wanted Nancy to be successful. He had no trouble sharing his advice with her; good advice at that.

Nancy is always planning; the next shot, the next project, the next show. She is off for awhile now, so she will have lots of ideas by the time the next show rolls around!